For me, the term sovereign has been a treasured concept. Coming from trauma and dysfunction in my family, my sovereignty came hard won and is synonymous with reclaiming my power, freedom, and happiness.
That said, the term sovereignty is being thrown around a lot these days in the field of personal development. Being “a sovereign” has not always had a positive connotation. As we see, there are both manipulative, self-serving, dictatorial leaders and humanitarian, people-first, heroic leaders everywhere. This observation has prompted me to contemplate what sovereignty really means for the evolutionary woman in these times.
Our Antiquated Past
For decades women have struggled within the confines of toxic patriarchy. The primary model of success portrayed in the media has lionized competition, conquest and achievement. Even women who have created great success, have often done so via a high-powered, go-getter, leave your feelings out-of-it approach.
The Faces of False Sovereignty
Common False Identity #1
Many of us have spent years disowning our power, in order to fit in, settling for a half-love and relationships, approval for expressing a minuscule piece of who we are in our work, or a pat on the back for living as a subservient over-giver in our businesses and families. When this is all we know, living in passivity, disowning our deeper wisdom, self-abandoning, and other-focusing become our normal. We repress our intuition and our voices. We feel invisible and unfulfilled. Our sovereign nature goes undercover, out of sight, and out of mind.
Gifts such as wisdom, intuition, creativity, self-possession, and emotion have not historically, been identified with success or leadership. Yet if you identify as an intuitive, creative, sensitive woman, these are your superpowers. And when our superpowers are not supported, we stop trusting them.
If you’ve pursued entrepreneurial success with essential parts of yourself locked away, you’ll likely find yourself fearful and underpaid. You may even feel like a beggar when it comes to generating a generous income for your beautiful gifts.
Common False Identity #2
As we wake up and emerge from the trance of passivity and self-doubt, we may be inclined to reclaim our self-agency by reacting toward all that previously held us back with a confrontational attitude or one of entitlement. This is false sovereignty. A woman living in false sovereignty often appears more powerful than others, even aggressive, missing no opportunity to let you know of her self-importance. Her disposition seems to scream “Being me means, f*ck you!”. This is a desperate effort to reclaim the experience of self-ownership that gets lost in the foray of keeping one’s head above warped patriarchal waters. While one may appear bold, confident, and forthright, this adversarial behavior is another form of self-abandonment, often masking deep self-doubt and pain.
If you identify with either of these false identities, you are not alone. Please be self-compassionate and have patience with others who may be struggling to discover their deeper truth, in the same way you are. While we may be in different places at different times on the growth continuum, we are all on the same road home.
Awakening to Modern Sovereignty
Modern Sovereignty is the sweet spot between self-depreciation and self-aggrandizement. Modern Sovereignty is the result of having traveled the wild terrain of challenge, loss, and grief and allowing it to transform you into something far greater than you could have cultivated in an easier life.
Reinvention is your middle name.
Your power is not sourced from the way others respond to you or what they give you. You are grounded and mature. You are rooted.
In Modern Sovereignty:
- You have yourself.
- You know who you are.
- You set boundaries in your life and business that expand your capacity for love.
- You take 100% responsibility for communication (especially tough conversations).
- You are visible in your business and relationships, in ways that suit your nature.
- Your existence stretches the paradigm of self-ownership for others.
You remain whole and intact, no matter what.
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