I lived in a yoga and meditation community (an ashram) from the time I was 22 until I was 34.
Teachings about life and spirituality were often delivered in a “Fire Course”.
It was summer.
Several hundred of us sat in circles of 8-10, around multiple blazing fire pits built into a large, stone slab on the property.
Tall, deciduous trees everywhere, we stared into the flames, in anticipation. Momentarily, our teacher would begin imparting the most meaningful life lessons.
One magical night she asked, “What is the highest emotion one can experience?”
Someone called out “Love”. She said “No”.
Another offered “Joy”. “No”.
There were several other misses. I can’t remember them all.
I was very young. Speaking in front of a crowd into a microphone was daunting to me.
Summoning my courage and standing before hundreds of people I said, “Gratitude”. She said “YES!!”
While study after study confirms the positive effects of gratitude on health, from quieting our nervous system to alleviating depression, cultivating authentic gratitude can be tricky.
Trying to feel grateful for something or someone, before you have arrived at the experience of gratitude can fuel feelings of self-abandonment and isolation.
However, the state of gratitude is one of fullness, of fulfillment. In gratitude, everything is ENOUGH. In gratitude, we have everything. We are everything. We want for nothing.
Sometimes in order to cultivate a particular emotion or disposition, we need to come in the back door. Here is a little guidance to help you step into the realm of true gratitude, through the back door, plus a practice I call “Gratitude, Inverted”.
Do what you can. If you’re going through a tough time, focus on one area of your life you can easily impact right now. Then take one simple, impactful step.
Lower the bar. Counter the “cult of positivity” by embracing all of you. Your feelings, your failures your successes, as well as your struggles. Remember, you are a remarkable person, no matter what!
Gratitude Inverted
- On a piece of paper draw a vertical line down the middle. In the left column, write the losses, challenges, and hardships you’ve experienced throughout your life. Don’t overthink, simply write what comes to mind.
- In the right column, answer the question, What am I proud of relative to the way I navigated or experienced each difficulty? It might be the lessons you learned, or strengths you developed, or simply that you survived and are here.
- Next, on the back or a separate sheet of paper, express your no-holds-barred love for yourself. What do you LOVE about YOU, beyond the experiences you’ve already written about?
From a state of fulfillment, your existence will be a gift to others and to the world.
It is my relationship with you that beckons me ever deeper into my own calling in this world. Without you, I couldn’t do me. I am forever grateful to you. 💖
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